eating disorder / toxic reinforment
I was constantly told by white women to keep my weight down and that my body was perfect from age 12 until 19 when I stayed the same weight, but now it was a problem because i was now competing with them for attention.
No one was concerned that i skipped meals because sometimes i binge ate.
Guess who guilted and shamed me for eating on the rare occasions I did eat! How Unfair!! it was that i was thin! Unfair! All the time, anytime any place.
Oof, I feel u
I'm sorry. :(
It's kind of a long shot, but the ASDAH org's blog may be worth sifting or even emailing directly if you have the time. Searching the "racism" tag I did find at least one piece which mentions (briefly) issues related to what you're talking about (about 4 paragraphs in) :
@xenophora Thanks! But its not a guide, its more of a cry for help for the medical community to magically not be by and for rich white cis people. I have no faith in them at all tbh.
No mental health professional has ever diagnosed me anything correctly ever. At best, they have simply confirmed my own diagnosis and contributed to my treatment plans i myself direct. At worst they've abused and experimented on me.
I need for resources that help people heal themselves and each other.
That sucks. :( I'm white myself but if I stumble onto anything more promising, I'll pass it along.
@PentagramPip Honestly, as someone recovering from anorexia, you or your loved one needs to seek treatment. Anorexia is an insidious and dangerous disease, and you can't fight it by yourself.
@zearen Did you read about how I cant get treament due to systemic racism, and have had to struggle through this alone because of that?
I would love to be able to just "seek" treatment, but that gate isn't exactly open to me, despite having health coverage.
im not too keen on opening myself up to more psychological abuse from a bigot with an M.D. either.
@PentagramPip No, I did not see that, but I relate as someone who has been subject to institutional abuse due to multiple minority statuses. Not all programs are the same, and hospitals tend to be awful
Since anorexia is a life threatening disease, so I decided not doing was worth a little more trauma. Honestly, it pisses me if that anyone would deny an anorexic help. This shit is deadly.
I know my therapist recommended a book for me, so I'll ask her and get back to you.
@zearen thank you i appreciate it, i remember being told how deadly anorexia was as a way to guilt me into "remembering" to bring my lunch and not let the really sick girls feel bad. Ive asked my GP and multiple doctors about my weight, ive talked about avoiding food, the fear, and wanting help. They think im ignorant about nutrition. When I dispel that, they tell me im fine, despite being objectively underweight. I dont think i can actually convince anyone of my issue so Im doing what I can.
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