I dont have life plans around a career anymore, or around eventually retiring, or on procreating and somehow locking down some form of acceptable monogamy to do so.

All of that is gone, even my abusive childhood, its being rewired and stored not as survival skills but as trauma.

Its adolescence 2.0 in an older body and damn its scary.

I cant imagine the numbness some people must feel being told that this is normal their whole life and believing it.

It feels like teetering on the edge of a cliff

"im just trying to survive"
"im just trying to live a comfortable life"

Why are so many of us feeling so guilty for wanting and expecting more?

I think that the other end of the bow with colonialism on an ideological level, feeling self indulgent despair in the guilt of being settlers, white, of seeing themselves as a driving force behind the poverty of other nations and just giving into sadism to make sense of it.

Like these fascists really do think they are more honest than anyone on the left. That they're more realistic and that this myth is real not just because they choose to live it, but because sadism they make it real. That they are carving out their own heaven and easing their own existential fears with the violence they unleash.

There are never peaceful fascists or reasonable ones. They choose to this way because they believe it they can trade our lives for power.

The very act of trading in our lives is enough for them, to feel that their entire world view is real.

The only message they understand is pain and failure. They only give up when they dont think the trade can be made anymore.

They keep offering that trade to more people, our blood for peace of mind, for comfort, for feeling good, and we know some will take it. Because its their last move and they dont want to quit.

We have to silence them all, and permanently.

its not about whether or not they think it works, ok, in their mind if they kill enough people, they're will be enough to go around. If enough people suffer, somehow the surplus will make its way to them.

Fascism is when libs trade in their soul for a chance of being one of the chosen ones. Of COURSE they want it to be something that they cant change, that can't be earned or unearned. That's Always been the point of liberalism! They would rather me die than toil endlessly!

Of course this appeals most to white cis het dudes nt, they are the most deluded, they think they know the most, they came the closest to making it into heaven and finally ascending into the upper classes where you are born and die deserving, where your life is just one long proof of merit. More like proof of purchase but wtv.

They dont need it to make sense! They just want to reaffirm their superiority. A superiority they believe is won with violence.

I hate christianity but jesus was right, the meek shall 'inherit the earth"

like the meek shall inherit the revolution.

Why are so called leftists with cash wasting it on trying to convert libs with cash? Are they libs??

We are so separated, forget like, teaching like theory and shit, how about we find a way to have more and more people living on fewer and fewer incomes.

Cause thats whats happening to us right now.

i hate white christianity, jesus was a cool dude who like trashed banks and shared food and was friends with sex workers. Then he was killed by the state.

White jesus is who i hate

Still think there needs to be a Jesus reimagining as a seventies black panther in aesthetics kind of but like WWJD and its revolution. Id still be in church if that was the Jesus i learnt about.

Nope I got white jesus that tells you you get to completely control your wife and children among other things.

Anyway the last of my old girlfriends is more lib than ever and we dont connect the same way anymore even though we get along.

@PentagramPip I feel guilty for having a service dog, and I'm old and know better >_< ridiculous, this shame built into us and society

@dirething and you need your dog, you deserve your dog, the fact that some go without isnt your fault, its doesnt mean you skipped the line.

The line is bullshit, there's dogs everywhere who would love to live as a service dog its just rules enforced by people with weapons making this hard.

@PentagramPip Thanks for your support. You are of course so right.

Also, let's make sure I start my dog rescue/service dog charity thing to our housing collective!

@PentagramPip never stop, pip

@PentagramPip im glad thats the jesus I know

@hope yea hes awesome, im salty i missed out on him. There no love around here to find in through either.

White jesus everywhere.

Seriously though, wwjd the revolutionary would be an amazing childrens cartoon. I send my voice into the one! Someone please animate this!!

@PentagramPip ill keep you in mind for any projects near this in the future

@hope 😆 yesss

seriously though this would be the best thing lol

who needs veggie tales? Where Comrade Jesus?

@PentagramPip also yeah, I almost missed out on him but he showed up to reclaim his name 🤷‍♀️

@hope sounds heavenly

im tired of prudishness.

would like a nice crew to get up to no good with.

@PentagramPip
Super relevant to how my evening has gone. Thank you for saying all this ♡ Fuck liberals, fuck whiteness, fuck white jesus.